Black Adam – Script Coverage

[MAJOR SPOILERS]

There are two good ways to teach yourself the mechanics of film – that is: how to devise structure, good dialogue, interesting characters, etc.

The first, and most obvious, is to studying the great works of cinema. How does Scorsese and Schrader inject such pulsing jittery energy into Taxi Driver? How did Kurosawa, Hashimoto and Oguni make the viewer empathise with each of the Seven Samurai? How does Towne’s use of foreshadowing make Chinatown more complex and satisfying?

The other way, is to watch any film – or read any script – and consider how you, if given the chance, would make that film better. All of us do some form of this after leaving the cinema or discussing something we’ve seen on TV. “I thought the twist was obvious from the moment…” “Wouldn’t it have made more sense if she had confronted her husband earlier…” It’s a natural part of the film-watching experience.

So onto Black Adam. Let me start by saying I’m a fan of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. He has the qualities you need in an action hero: muscularity, self-deprecation and a fair amount of wit. It’s also worth mentioning that his public persona shows him to be generous, hard-working and likeable. Qualities which have seen him be incredibly successful. And I hoped that Black Adam would prove a worthy movie for his talent.

I think it’s fair to say that the finished film didn’t quite hit the spot. After marketing and distribution costs are factored in the film probably made a loss. But, I think with a few changes to the script – in regards structure, character set-up and, most importantly, character motivation, Black Adam could’ve been a lot more satisfying.

Now, when I say the script I mean the finished film – I’ve looked and the script isn’t available online. I would say that the fundamental flaws which hamper Black Adam probably started with the script. But, it’s worth noting that a lot can happen from page to screen – studio intervention, director choices and actor input. Adam Sztykiel, Rory Haines and Sohrab Noshirvani’s screenplay might have been significantly different from the finished movie.

What I’m doing in this analysis therefore is commenting on Black Adam as if I’ve been sent the script prior to production and been employed as script consultant and script doctor.

First, I went through and wrote a coverage report on what I believe are the weaknesses of the film. After that I wrote an outline of the plot of the movie as I would’ve structured it. I also wrote the first scene at the beginning of the film as a basis for tone.

If you haven’t seen the film but still want to read my analysis and have it make sense, head over to the Wikipedia page and read the Plot Synopsis on there to compare.

THE FOUNDATION

The success of the first 10% is vital for any film. It’s where the world is established, the tone, the characters and their motivations. If Black Adam was a sprinter doing the 100 metres then his blocks are faulty, his shoelaces are untied and he can’t work out why he’s running the race in the first place.

Let’s take a quick look at the film’s Set-Up so we have some context for where it went wrong…

Flashback to 2600 BC. We’re in Kahndaq in the Middle East. There’s a MacGuffin: The Crown of Sabbac, which is a great source of evil power. Our hero receives the power of ‘Shazam’ from Wizards so he can defeat the tyrannical king Ahk-Ton, who has had the Crown made to become invincible.

Present Day. Still in Kahndaq. Amon (who has been our narrator) helps his mother Adrienna – archaeologist & freedom fighter – and her colleagues, Karim, Samir & Ishmael to evade an Intergang checkpoint. Intergang control the country of Kahndaq. Adrienna et al then head to the desert as she tells us she has found the resting place of the Crown of Sabbac after reading an inscription. The four of them enter a mountain, find the Crown, but have been followed by Intergang. At that point Adrienna reads another inscription on the floor of the cave which includes the word, ‘Shazam,’ and awaken Teth-Adam/Black Adam.

It sound fairly straightforward. In the past we supposedly see Adam gain his powers and defeat his main adversary. In the present we meet some new characters who tell us the evil power of the Crown still exists and they have to prevent it falling into the wrong hands. All of this setting up the awakening of Black Adam to once again stop whoever wears the Crown.

So, what’s wrong with this section?

Let’s talk about the Flashback and the narration which accompanies it. With any comic book movie you expect a fair amount of informational gobbledigook – Infinity Gauntlets and Mother Boxes. The problem here is that to someone unfamiliar with the DC Universe none of these elements are given context or full enough explanations to make them understandable.

For example:

The split between dark magic, as used by Ahk-Ton – and good magic, used by the Council of Wizards is not properly established.
The Crown derives its power from Eternium – and element only found in Kahndaq – but why does this only lend its power to dark magic?
Why is the Crown called the Crown of Sabbac? Who or what is Sabbac? Never explained properly.
How does the Crown help harness the dark magic is the six demons of the ancient world? (Which is later referred to as Hell – this becomes incredibly muddled: Is the world one of Christian theology, i.e. Heaven & Hell? And one of Magic? And has superheroes? This all fights against each other when trying to keep straight what ‘world’ we’re in.)
Ahk-Ton is said to become invincible if he wears the Crown. How? What would it allow him to do? What would the consequences be if he or someone else wore the Crown? None of these questions are sufficiently answered so we know exactly how hard Adam’s task will be later in the film.
The Council of Wizards – whose existence only make sense of you’ve seen the film, Shazam! – give power to the ‘hero of Kahndaq’ and we are led to believe he uses that power to defeat Ahk-Ton. But because we don’t see that, again, we get no sense of how monumental that effort was and therefore how hard it will be later.

OK, there were some problems with the Flashback – some of which are related to one of the central secrets in the film which is supposed to drive the plot: namely Black Adam’s origins, which I’ll get to later. But overall, despite its deficiencies, it just about works if you sit back in the hope that some of the omissions are going to be filled in later. The real problems start when we shift to the present day.

What really impedes the success of this section, needed to set up the other main characters – in particular Adrienna – is the creative choice to have it start, in media res. By choosing to have Adrienna and her cohorts be on the way to get the Crown she is forced to use exposition to tell us who she is, what job she does, where they’re going, how they came to find the whereabouts of the Crown, who else wants the Crown as well as set up all their relationships.

As a result we don’t get to know Adrienna, all she is another mouthpiece for information. This scene also falls down on a couple of other details. First, Amon is her son. But their interaction is so brief that we get no sense of the bond between them, which undermines the stakes later of either being in danger. Second, time inconsistency. The journey to the resting place of the Crown takes perhaps twelve hours – from night into the next morning – however the return journey does not.

But, most egregious, is the discovery of the Crown itself. Adrienna and the rest turn up, go inside the mountain – presumably having found the entrance immediately – read a couple of inscriptions along the way and then find the Crown… Just. Like. That. No boobytraps. No puzzles to solve. No more fuss that Adrienna jumping a gap.

Even more galling is that there’s a giant hole in the top of the mountain that someone in the past 4,000 years must have looked down and gone, ‘Oh look, there’s an ancient floating Crown down there, I wonder if it’s the Crown of Sabbac?’ And yes, for no reason that’s ever explained, the Crown is floating in mid-air. Magic or something, I guess. A trick which it then doesn’t do for the rest of the film.

People have made entire films just about finding stuff like this – Raiders of the Lost Ark or the Last Crusade, anyone…? The ease of discovery strips the Crown of its forbidding power. This coupled with not seeing what power it grants during the flashback robs it of significance.

There’s one more element from the Set Up worth mentioning: Intergang. Their inclusion once again assumes a certain amount of knowledge of the DC Universe where they’re a criminal terror organisation. But even if you are aware of this the first time you see their soldiers they just acting like police officers on a checkpoint. Why there are checkpoints is not really explained until partially later.

But there’s a more basic problem with Intergang throughout the film. In DC comics Intergang have leaders with motivations – leaders including Lex Luthor. But in the film they have no focus and just appear as mindless oppressors and soldier goons for Black Adam to kill. Sure, we’re told their mining Eternium, but to what end? This goes back to not setting up what the properties of Eternium are in the Flashback as we have to jump to the conclusion that the mineral powers their weapons – only because they glow blue like the Crown of Sabbac.

HOW COULD IT BE FIXED?

There’s so much wrong with this section – and yet all so easily rectified. The best place to start is by looking at what the Set Up needs to achieve and how it could’ve done that better.

First, Character. We need to establish Adrienna Tomaz. Like Lois Lane, Alfred, MJ, her character is, in part, to provide a link between the ‘real’ world and the world of ‘superheroes’. Things we need to know about her are: she has a son, Amon who she loves; she’s an archaeologist; she’s a freedom fighter; and that she’s deciphered an inscription which may be the key to finding the lost Crown of Sabbac.

Second, Plot Details. We need to know what the Crown of Sabbac is; what its powers are and the threat they pose – to give motivation for finding it and not letting it fall into the wrong hands; what eternium is, as the crown is made from it; who had the Crown in the past; and, most importantly, who thwarted the threat in the past: Teth-Adam. (Which brings us back to Character set-up).

Third, Present-day Antagonist. Identification that descendants of Ahk-Ton having been searching for crown – believing their ancestor was overthrown unjustly by Teth-Adam and they want to regain the crown and throne – which are the ordinary motivations for that characters actions when identified – as well as turning Earth into Hell, which is the character’s supernatural motivation – it’s all about gaining power and keeping it in the end, as it always is with world-conquerors.

So, if I had been employed as Script Doctor I would completely rewrite this entire section. But, for the sake of time and brevity, I’ve rewritten the initial scene which sets most of this up.

BLACK-ADAM-Set-Up-Rewrite

You can read it/download it here.

This is a bit rough and I’d certainly refine it more. Put more action into the script to describe the surroundings, maybe cuts to flashback and to Kahndaq outside the museum – though both I don’t think are strictly necessary. But it’s pretty much the scene I would write to set up the film. Yes it apes Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Mummy (1999) – but it works because it delivers exposition in a place and in a way where description of all the historical and mythical gobbledigook makes sense.

The plot structure at the bottom of the article outlines exactly how the movie would lead on from this establishing scene.

THE JUSTICE SOCIETY

Given the mismatch in strength between Intergang’s soldiers and weaponry and Black Adam’s powers it was necessary to introduce someone or something for Adam to fight for the majority of the movie – before Ishmael gets the Crown and turns himself into Sabbac. The Justice League (JL) were the group in the DC canon chosen to fulfil this role. Sadly, much of their motivation and character development is lacking so that their actions in the film make little to no sense and they come across as disorganised at best, stupid at worst.

For example:

Amanda Waller – government official seen in Suicide Squad/The Suicide Squad – thinks Teth-Adam is a threat and sends in JS to apprehend him. Why she chooses them isn’t clear. And why Hawkman chooses the other members as he does is given no motivation.
Why Hawkman finds it so incomprehensible that the citizens of Kahndaq would support Black Adam as he kills their Intergang oppressors makes no sense whatsoever. He’s the leader of something called the Justice Society! He is on the side of Intergang because… supposedly they provide stability. Really? International criminal gang of mercenaries provide stability…?
Then there’s a whole thing about Hawkman seeing the world in black and white, enemy and ally, violence before negotiation. Something apparently we’re also supposed to link to Black Adam’s behaviour – making them seem the same and that’s why they clash. Though no one ever says this.
Dr Fate counsels that they should speak to Black Adam when they meet him – and yet instead of reasoning with him he immediately gives Adam an ultimatum – “Kneel or die” – which anyone would fight against.
They persist in trying to get Black Adam out of the way, even when the larger threat of Sabbac the Demon God is imminent – because of Adam’s seeming rage issues.

All of these characters – Hawkman, Dr Fate, Atom Smasher & Cyclone – contradict each other and themselves. They are hypocrites. They have no idea what they’re doing – explained away by the weakest line in perhaps the entire picture: “A bad plan is better than no plan,” except they haven’t explained a plan, they’ve just told us what they’re about to do next but not really why, and I guess they hope we don’t notice.

BLACK ADAM

And now for our protagonist, Black Adam. Though I spent much of my time wondering if he was in fact the protagonist of his own movie? For the majority of the film his actions don’t really drive the plot. A quarter of the film goes by without him even speaking his first proper line. And even after that there is no attempt to explain what Black Adam’s goal is and the obstacles he must overcome to achieve this. Is it ever really clear what Adam wants…?

It’s worth examining what Black Adam’s motivations might be – if only to see how they continually shift.

He is awoken – people are firing guns at him and I guess this ticks him off – so he kills them – then he goes outside, more guns are fired at him – so he kills them as well – [he only stops when he’s injured by Eternium – a weakness never referred to again, nor used by JS or Sabbac to subdue or defeat him in a sub-Superman vs Kryptonite way.]
He wakes up again in Adrienne and Amos’s apartment – doesn’t know where he is, which irks him – is asked a lot of questions by Amon, which irks him – so, rather needlessly, smashes through walls rather than using doors (seemingly to only set up a rather lame joke later) – and looks out at present-day Kahndaq which he doesn’t recognise, which, you guessed it irks him.
Then he spots the colossal statue of the hero of Kahndaq, which everyone presumes is him – which isn’t, it’s his son – and clearly remembering what happened in the past looks a bit sad and says, “Forgive me,” to the statue. (I’ll deal with this whole keeping this secret in a moment.)
Amon believes Black Adam is there to free Kahndaq from Intergang, so provokes some soldiers – Black Adam saves him from them and kills them because, well, because why not.
Then JS arrive and they try to tell Adam there’s no place in the world for him – though don’t really tell him why – and tell him to come with them and then start fighting him – which, quite rightly annoys him.
After the fight Adam heads to the palace and broods – floating in the air rather than standing on the ground for no good reason – and is told by Adrienna that he can be a hero if he chooses to be – which I suppose is supposed to be his motivation – BUT, this sense of him not being a hero up to this point has been somewhat undermined by the fact that the only people Adam has killed have been horrible mercenaries, oppressing the people of Kahndaq and stripping its assets.
Amon gets kidnapped – so Black Adam’s new motivation is to find him – he fails – so he tries again – finds out he’s been taken to the mine – he flies in Hawkman’s plane with Adrienna and JS where they talk about nothing for about five minutes and fail to come up with a plan… again!
Adam’s immediate motivation is I suppose at this point to save Amon and be considered a hero – now here’s the problem: he hasn’t stated he wants to be a hero – JS have branded his killing of Intergang members unheroic – and Adrienna looks down on it (to an extent) – and yet! what does he do again? Flies down alone and kills Intergang members, no restraint, no changing of his ways – how is this a character arc?
Adam does save Amon but in his rage explodes – which presumably the thing everyone has been afraid of – Ishmael is killed and Amon badly injured.
This suddenly makes Adam rethink his entire existence – presumably because it reminds him of his failure to protect his son – and finally the secret that he wasn’t the hero of Kahndaq but his son was is revealed, and that his son sacrificed himself to save him – all this he tells to Hawkman despite Hawkman earlier in film saying that he’d read, “ancient texts kept secret for centuries,” that told him Black Adam wasn’t Kahndaq’s hero.
Adam renounces his powers and is taken to a government security facility for storage.
Then, when Sabbac becomes a Demon God, Adam doesn’t even free himself, Dr Fate does – and when he is free he gets another bit of motivation to defeat Sabbac – and once he is defeated, it’s all rounded off by saying that Kahndaq didn’t need a hero to defeat Sabbac but an amoral sort like Adam – even though he used exactly the same tactics being employed by the rest of the Justice Society.

Phew. So, the problem with the character of Black Adam is fairly clear: He doesn’t have a consistent, identifiable goal all the way through that he rejects, strives for, succeeds at, fails at and ultimately sort-of fulfils, or fulfils in a different way than he thought. I’m sure some would argue that what I said at the start of this analysis – that he’s a corrupted antihero attempting to clear his name and reputation is his motivation – but it’s not made clear enough and, fatally, to preserve the secret of his origins (for I suppose dramatic purposes and a supposed big reveal) comes at the wrong part of the movie.

One thing I do keep coming back to, which I don’t think the film fully exploits is the potential of Black Adam, when consumed by rage, to release such an immense amount of power that can level a city or a mountain. It is both his great power and his great weakness. He is unable to fully control it – though this is not said in the film, this should be because he wasn’t intended to wield it, his son was. I see this cataclysmic destructive power as being similar – though not as powerful – as Akira. This again would give JS to try to curtail Adam’s activities as he’s a danger not only to himself, to Kahndaq but also to potentially a far larger area if his rage reaches a ‘nuclear’ level.

But one of the main problems with Black Adam as a character is that he never convincingly cares about anyone else in the film – indeed he gives the impression he barely likes them, including Amon, who I presumed was supposed to remind him of his own son and Adrienna, his putative love-interest. This significantly undermines the sense that he would strive to save them.

The film is fatally flawed from the start and doesn’t resolve any of those flaws as it goes. Rather it contrives illogical reasoning from some characters, a lack of a plan as a positive thing and a whole lot of what Mark Kermode likes to call, ‘crashy, smashy, bashy,’ to paper over the creaks and cracks.

Oh, and one last thing, if you’re going to raise the Legions of Hell in a film make them scary. The ones in Black Adam are poor zombies which are easily beaten by the residents of Shiruta. I might add at this point the population of the city seems to have gone missing – perhaps an extras strike – because it feels like there are only ever five people fighting five zombies at a time. And when I say scary, I mean like the overwhelming hoard as seen in The Mummy when the wave of Anubis’s army, so numerous to be incalculable, crest the dunes and all seems lost for our heroes.

Just to finish off, I’ve done a plot outline for how I would’ve written a script for Black Adam – using most of the same characters, setting and general themes. Be interesting to hear from you if you think I’ve got some of it wrong and how you would’ve done it differently.

BLACK-ADAM-–-Plot-Outline

Again, if you want to read the pdf or download it – head here.

Want me to do the same coverage for your script? Head here to see what services I offer. Head here to get in contact.

Images: Warner Bros Pictures